Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. This week and next, I’ll share with you some suggestions I’ve learned over the years for loving your husband. I’m not perfect at this. Matter of fact, I’m writing it as a reminder to myself: These are things I need to put into practice, or continue practicing, in my marriage.

1. Respect
In her book “What Men Need Most,” Shaunti Feldhan states “The most important aspect of demonstrating respect: It is a choice. A choice we make out of reverence for God and love for our husbands. Just as men can choose to demonstrate love toward us even if they don’t feel it at the moment, so we can and should demonstrate respect toward them.” Choose to respect your husband. Hold him in high esteem. Respect his leadership in your family (1 Cor. 11:3). Respect his provision for your family. Decrease the complaints and increase the compliments. Show respect to him with your body language and actions. Do you roll your eyes when he makes a comment? Do you slam a door or throw things when you’re angry (yes, I have). Let’s stop. Let’s show more respect to our husbands.

2. Hugs, hugs, hugs! Hug your husband frequently!

3. Listen
In my opinion, this shows the highest respect. When someone looks you in the eye, and focuses on you while you are talking, you know they care. Take time to listen to your husband. Listen with your ears, your eyes and your body language. Show him you care.

4. Encourage
Give your husband some encouragement. Be his biggest cheerleader. He works hard. Give him a standing ovation when he comes home from work. Tell him what a great job he does with repairs around the house. If the yard looks great after he mows and trims it, let him know. Acknowledge his job well done. When you admire what he’s done or how he’s handled a situation, be sure you tell him. These words will go a long way to lift your husband’s spirits: “Honey, you handled that so well!”

5. Pray
Prayer and respect should always be at the top of your list of ways to love your husband. Lift him up in prayer. His spirit needs reviving as much as anyone’s. Ask him how you can pray for him. Then do it. Right then (I’m sorely lacking in the ‘pray for him now’ category!). Pray for strength as he leads your family. Pray for his spiritual growth. Pray that he would be a man after God’s own heart.

6. Hold hands. Bring a little bit of first love back into your marriage by holding hands.

7. Leave him a love note. Hide it in his computer bag or his sock drawer. What a sweet surprise!

Be sure to come back next week for seven more helpful hints!

Grace be with you,

(This post first appeared February, 2015)