“You’re such a beautiful person – inside and out!”

I looked behind me to see who my friend was talking to – no one was there! She was talking to me…ME? While I so appreciated her compliment, my first thought was, “She hasn’t been inside my head!”

But my friend knows me – warts and all! And she still think I’m beautiful. Go figure!

Truth is, I’m just a mess. Time and time again, “messy” rears it’s ugly head.

• Like when that sandpaper person aggravates the stew out of me. My thoughts are… MESSY!

• Then there’s grocery shopping on Monday night, after a long, difficult day at work. This certainly brings out the “messy” in me! Really, MUST you keep your cart in the middle of the aisle, causing a traffic jam??? Some of us have better things to do on a Monday night than lollygag through the store! Not so beautiful…

• How about the other night, when I missed the trash can, and wet coffee grounds splattered all over my clean kitchen floor? The writer side of me wanted to take a picture for this blog. My perfectionist side wanted it cleaned up quickly, and wasn’t having nearly as much fun as my writer side…Messy, inside and out!

I’d rather people not see my mess. I’d rather them see “pretty” – pretty attitude, pretty spirit. But that isn’t always the “real” me. I have a temper that flares way too often – with the ones I love most. I have snarkey thoughts about…well, things.

Why, at my mature age, can’t I be the Proverbs 31 or Titus 2 woman? The woman that oozes strength, kindness, reverence and grace? I WANT to be that woman. I pray and read scripture, then act like I’ve never heard of the Bible. I get grumpy and cranky and let everyone know it. I’m not perfect. I fall, and then I get up again.

But I do get up again, with God’s help. He began a good work in me, and He will perfect it in the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6). I am thankful for this sanctification – this act of becoming holy and set apart for God.

So what does all this mean for messy, imperfect me?

Jesus is the One who sanctifies me. I can’t do it on my own. Hebrews 2:11 says “For both He who sanctifies (Jesus) and those who are sanctified are all from one Father; for which reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren.” (NASB)

It’s a choice. Hebrews 12:14 says I must pursue sanctification. I choose to pursue it. I choose obedience. I choose to emulate Christ. However, my first choice has to be accepting God’s gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus.

It’s a process. I won’t turn into the Proverbs 31 woman overnight. Little by little, being obedient to God’s Word, following the example of Christ (John 13:15), and with the power of His Holy Spirit (Ephesians 3:16), I will become sanctified in Him.

Sadly, there are times I also choose “messy”. On those days, I know Christ’s love, mercy and forgiveness cover me. He sees me and knows me, warts and all. He knows the messy side of me. And still thinks I am beautiful inside and out. Go figure.

Proverbs 4:18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day.