When We Don’t Know

 

 

 

It’s such a beautiful word, isn’t it? Malaise rolls off my tongue, twirling and floating like a soft white feather, landing ever so gently in a field of purple wildflowers.

It’s a shame the meaning is so, well, yuk. Malaise means a general feeling of discomfort or illness, whose exact cause is difficult to identify. When you’re in a period of malaise, you have no energy, you’re apathetic and lethargic. For me, in the midst of the malaise, basically I felt like poop. Sorry, don’t mean to offend, but there it is. Malaise = feeling like poop.

There were weeks of beautiful, ugly, malaise and all I could do was put one foot in front of the other. Only the basics, nothing extra.

I gave gallons of blood (it seemed to me) all to find answers. The ill feeling dragged on and on, until one day it didn’t. I woke up feeling human again. And the next day and the next! Human! No aches, no chills, no fever! And no answers. My husband said to just be happy with the fact I’m back to my old self. But I like to know. I like to have all the answers.

That’s why I’m so thankful scripture is a guide book and provides answers to many of life’s questions. 

Don’t know how to love? Be patient, be kind. Don’t envy or boast. Don’t be arrogant or rude or irritable or resentful. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Afraid? Be strong and courageous. Don’t be scared. The Lord God is with you whoever you go! (Joshua 1:9)

But there is that one scripture that gives no answers. 

“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. Mark 13:32 NLT 

 

Jesus had been teaching the disciples about the end times and the great tribulation. They were asking when all these events would take place. Jesus’ answer? No one knows. Nobody. Nada. Not even Jesus Himself. 

Well now, if I’m honest, that doesn’t sit too well with me. That’s hard for someone like me.  I like to KNOW things, don’t you? 

I especially like learning about end times prophesy, the rapture and tribulations stuff. It gets my blood pumping. Now, I know there are lots of discussions on whether you believe in pre-, mid- or post-tribulation rapture. While I’d love to discuss the rapture and tribulation with you over coffee one day (said NO ONE EVER!), I won’t open that can of worms here.

What I will say is that even though Jesus said He doesn’t know when He will return, that only God knows, He DOES tell us this: there will be signs. We need to watch for them; be alert to what’s going on; stand firm in our faith. 

These are things we can do to combat the malaise of not knowing. Jesus wants us to be active while we wait for Him. Just because we don’t know exactly when He will return, doesn’t mean we should lay around on the couch eating bonbons. There are things to do, people to love and serve, scriptures to read and study, and prayers to be prayed. That’s what we need to do.

Oh, and all my blood work? Normal. I’ll never know exactly what caused me to feel so horrible, but I’m not going to lay around fretting and fearful. Ok, ok, yes, I do wonder sometimes and search Google to try and figure out what it all was! But there are too many other things, more important things, that I need to spend my time on. 

Do you fret and worry when you don’t have answers you want? Or do you wait actively, doing what you can while you wait?

Father, help us to number our days, and to be about Your business while we are here on this earth. I pray that we would have eyes to see and ears to hear, and ever watchful for the signs You’ve given us. May we keep our eyes on You, and our hearts and hands busy with Your work while we wait. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen!

Grace be with you,