It was a comfortable silence. He was looking at something on the iPad, I was reading a book. From time to time we would look up and smile at each other.
After several nights of this, I realized something: We’re not talking. We’re not sharing. I’m not sharing my life with him. My husband. My best friend. I didn’t exclude him on purpose. We had just become very comfortable with each other. Like two old friends sharing a bench.
And that’s a good thing! We’re at home and relaxed with one another. But we also have to be careful not to take things for granted. Not to become TOO comfortable. Ever so slowly a distance can creep in. Our relationship can become three miles wide, and two inches deep. No depth, no substance. Kind of like the relationship I have with 400 of my closest friends on Facebook!
That isn’t the type of connection John and I want with each other. We want depth. To have that, we need to be deliberate in cultivating a stronger, deeper relationship.
I want the same thing with Christ. Deepness. And I need to be intentional about it. If I’m not careful, I can take this very important relationship for granted. I can become too comfortable during my prayer times with Him. This relationship with Christ – above all others – needs to move from shallow to deep. And then deeper still.
And so, just like in my marriage, I began to make adjustments. I began conversations. I tell Him about my day, my deepest feelings gushing out. I read His word, slowly dwelling on passages that speak to me.
I stop and listen to Him. I pour over the scriptures, careful to pause if a verse catches my attention. And then I read the passage again, slowly, letting it sink deep into my heart. And then I ask questions.
“Why, Lord? Why should I care what this scripture says? What does it have to do with me, today, 2,000 years after it was written? Why does this matter? What are You saying, Lord? Is this something I need to apply to my life? Is there a change I need to make?”
I love the questions. But more than that, I love when God answers them!
“Ellen, that scripture was written so that you can know the lengths I will go for a relationship with you. So that you know I love you and will pursue you. So that you can share with others how deep my love is for my people.”
The conversation becomes an intimate two way dialog. Comfortable, with depth.
Are you intentional about your relationship with Jesus? Are you cultivating the depths of His friendship?
I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.
John 15:15 (NLT)
Lord, how thankful I am that You count us as friends, that we can bring anything to You in prayer. Yes, indeed, what a privilege! Thank you for being such a personal God – You listen and hear our prayers. In Jesus powerful name, Amen.
Until next week,
Linking up this week with these lovely writers:
Barbie at The Weekend Brew
Kelly at Purposeful Faith
Holly at Testimony Tuesday
Janis at Sunday Stillness
Jennifer Dukes Lee at Tell His Story
Hi Ellen, yes I definitely noticed myself getting complacent lately. I know I need time just with Him- sharing, talking. I must be intentional about making that time! Blessings to you, friend!
Thank you Kristine! I tend to let the urgent over rule the important. Intentionality is the key! Thanks for stopping by!
I love the great mystery of this relationship with the Lord God. What other religion can claim to have a personal relationship with their deity? The quiet, intimate moments spent with Him fill our days with joy and peace and security. It’s the greatest gift and privilege we could possibly have! Thanks for sharing, Ellen. Your words are an encouragement.
Thank you Sabra!
Great analogy Ellen. As I read, I began to think about how much I need the closeness of relationship – with Lary and with God. I needed the reminder. I appreciate you friend.
Thanks, my friend! I’m so glad you dropped by!
I like the way you describe your interaction with the Lord here. It draws me in and makes me long for that two way dialogue. Yes, we need to be intentional about pursuing relationship with our husbands and with our Lord!
Thank you sweet Betsy! I appreciate you!
Oh yes, I can see myself all over this post! It is easy to get too comfortable in marriage and in nightly habits. He goes one way, I go the other. We both know it isn’t good, and I think the Lord nudges us and reunites us, whether it be a message at church that gets us talking or a problem to solve with the children. The thing I love the most? It is The Lord that continually works in our marriage. Even when I had no clue about Biblical marriage when I said “I do”, The Lord is the center of it all. Enjoyed meeting you from The Weekend Brew, Ellen!
Thanks for stopping by, Carrie! Yes, if we make the Lord the center of our marriages, we will have a foundation built on solid ground!
I am following you from The Weekend Brew. So wonderful to meet you. We are interested in the same thing – getting to know Jesus better through the Word. I would love you to link to Sunday Stillness – http://www.janiscox.com/sunday-stillness-how-can-gods-word-change-you/
Blessings,
Janis
Hi Janis, thanks so much for stopping by! I would love to join your linkup!
Thank you so much for your encouragement today. Praying for a more intentional relationship with Jesus and my husband.
Have a blessed day! I’m your neighbour at Purpuseful Faith link up:)
http://angiebenju.blogspot.com/
So glad you stopped by Angie! Cheering you on today! Blessings to you.
Thank you for stopping by Angie! Cheering you on today! Blessings!
Hi, Ellen. I am your neighbor at Testimony Tuesday. Your post was a good reminder to me today for both my marriage and intimacy with God. I really enjoyed it.
~Gina
Hi Gina, thanks for stopping by! I love your prayer closet ideas!
Stopping by from the Sunday Stillness blog hop. What a beautiful, much needed post!
Hi April! Love the name of your blog! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Love this post Ellen. I want to go deeper and deeper with him. These are great questions to ask. Thank you for writing this and for encouraging me in my pursuit. Cheering you on friend!
Thanks Kelly, and thanks so much for your link up! Cheering for you. Blessings!
Stopping by from Testimony Tuesday. Thank you for this important reminder. I have been feeling this way with our marriage and need to be more intentional.
Hi Katie, so glad you stopped by! It’s so important for us to be intentional with our heavenly Husband as well as our earthly hubby! Thank you for your comments!
Visiting from #TellHisStory today and so glad I did. I loved how you spoke to both being intentional in our marriage and in our relationship with Jesus. Ten months apart from my husband taught me much on not taking his presence for granted and him returning home to me safely (praise God!) has led me to want to not only be more intentional in my relationship with my husband but even more so with Him. He must come first. He must be the center of our marriage. Great encouragement. Blessings.
So glad to hear your sweet hubby came home safely! Yes, Christ is first and is the center of all! So glad you stopped by my little ordinary corner of the web!
And I just realized we are connected on my blog Facebook page. Sorry it took me so long to come pay you a visit. And maybe I did and forgot, but I’m not forgetting again! Love your place here.
Hey Beth! So glad you stopped by! Yes, I believe I connected with your blog via either Better Blogs or Suzie Eller…
PS – Love your blog!
Hey there, my #vaporlovingdiva ! (How do you like our new hashtag?) Like the deep breathing we enjoy from a tub of Vick’s Vapor (hehe), relationships that thrive are the deep ones.
Like you, I so am guilty of sitting beside the hubs and both of us holding devices. It’s a slick trap of the enemy to get us in a place of complacency. Thanks for your word of insight and wisdom. Beautiful as always!
Oh, I am LOL’ing on this one! You brightened my dark, rainy night! And I LOVE the new has tag! Thanks so much for stopping by my friend!