I never thought I could do it. I never thought I would do it. Sabotage myself. I wouldn’t sabotage my best friend or even my worst enemy, right? But here I am, self-sabotaging. This can block me from realizing God’s purpose for my life.
When I read about self-sabotage in Katie Brazelton’s book Praying for Purpose, I had to research the topic a bit to understand it. One definition I found was this:
To sabotage oneself or one’s own plans.
Really. I never would have guessed. Here’s an explanation that’s more fun:
[tweetthis display_mode=”box”]“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby[/tweetthis]
Katie defines it like this:
Self-sabotage means that you consciously or subconsciously obstruct your own productivity in order to underhandedly defeat a worthwhile endeavor. Praying for Purpose for Women (p. 69)
There are several ways we can deliberately put obstacles in our own paths. Some forms of self-sabotage are:
• Unconscious need to be in control
• Bad habits such as excessive drinking, smoking, not getting enough sleep or uncontrolled anger
• Perfectionism
• Dwelling on too many options (decision paralysis)
• PROCRASTINATION
Oh, procrastination, you are not my friend! Why do I embrace you so, inviting you into my life? I have given you a place of honor, when I should be kicking you to the road!
I think there are numerous reasons for my procrastination. At times, I tend toward perfectionism. I don’t want to put my “less than” out there, so I don’t do anything at all. Perhaps I am just being lazy. Worthwhile projects take a lot of work.
My “What’s the use?” defeatist attitude is what I use most to rationalize my procrastination. It goes something like this:
“Oh, what’s the use? Why bother? What will it matter, anyway?”
So I drag my feet. Why start something, when I can’t see the point of doing it? Why begin, when I can’t see the big picture? I am full of questions when I can’t see beyond my nose.
“Why, how, when?”
But mostly “Why?”
Lord, have you called me to write? I’m just not feeling like there’s a book inside me. With my full time job, I can’t see how I can find time to send queries for magazine publication. Why am I writing? Why, Lord? I just don’t see where this is heading. Maybe, I’ll just put off writing for a few days (weeks, months), until it become crystal clear for me.
“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much.” Job 38:2, 4 (NLT)
I’ve been a questioner almost since the day I plopped out of my mama’s womb. I may even have looked up at the doc and Mama and asked this:
“Ok, I’m here. What’s the plan now?”
As a child, I followed my Daddy around, asking him gazillions of questions. I was especially vocal when he told me to do something, and I just couldn’t grasp his reasoning.
“Why, Daddy, why?”
His response?
“Because I said so!”
What I should have realized by now is this: if God has asked me to do something, I’m positive He’s got a pretty darn good reason for wanting me to do it. At times, I think I can hear Him “tsk-tsking” me and saying “Because I said so, Ellen!”
Well, that’s a good enough reason for me!
To help me defeat my procrastination proclivities, I’ve begun doing this:
First, I pray over my priorities. I ask the Lord to direct me toward His most important things for me. Then, I make a plan. The sweet ladies at iBloom say this: Make a plan and stick to it – even on the hard days. They also have a great article on self-sabotage. You can find it here.
How about you? Do you self-sabotage? If so, how? What have you done to overcome it? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear!
Grace be with you,
Hi Ellen,
I was delighted to see you at my place the other day and realized I’ve missed you so! 🙂 This post — me, too! I wonder why I’m even writing and every week tell myself I don’t have anything worth hitting the publish button for, and I too, want to know what the plan is and where I’m going before I even consider taking the first step — perfectionist and controller that I am.
I think giving God my priorities and tasks takes much intention and I’m trying to redirect my thoughts in that direction. Thank you for writing these words — together we will try not to sabotage ourselves!
Hi Valerie! I have missed visiting my favorite writers (you being one!), too! I’m trying to find a good balance with writing, teaching and working full time. Something had to give unfortunately, and it was those fun blog link-ups! Thanks for stopping by! And yes, giving our priorities to God is very intentional on our part!
Which of the five examples of self-sabotage applies to me. Well, I had some hope that there’d be at least ONE form that would NOT pertain to me but alas, you added “not getting enough sleep” to bad habits… I so can relate to asking the”why” question myself. It’s been the story of my life from the minute I began talking until, well, I’ve never stopped really 🙁
I needed this as I struggle to serve while working full time at school. I’ve learned that I must balance the various activities that I do, but I’m still called to serve in other capacities as well… Thanks for stepping out of your comfort zone and sharing your talent of writing with us. The encouragement found in your posts has a deep impact in the lives of your readers! So glad to be walking this journey with you 😃
Ahhh, balance! So easy to say, so hard to do! And you had me laughing about the talking! Not YOU?!? Ha!
Ellen, I have been self-sabotaging myself much of my life, I must admit. I am a perfectionist, wanting to make things just so. I cannot make decisions well. I do become paralyzed. I also beat myself up for the way my body looks or that I failed in doing something just so. Failures in life have caused such bruising to occur also. I want to look to the Lord for He made me and calls me His, and wonderfully made (by Him) and He draws me near. Why do I sabotage His child? I must look at this with clearer eyes. Thank you, thank you.
Oh, Linda, I could have written your comment! I’ve walked in your shoes. Please stay tuned for tomorrow’s post. This is a battle we need to fight! Praying for you sweet friend!
I think that first one “unconscious need to be in control” is a hard one to diagnose. I mean most people want things to go their way, but crossing the line to having the “need” to be in control is a bit harder to identify. But this gives me something to chew on. thanks for your post!
Thanks for your comments and for visiting Karen!
This concept is so eye-opening! Self-sabotage? I never thought of that before, but it’s so true for many of us:) And the crazy part is that we don’t even know we’re doing it! Thank you for sharing your insights Ellen. And for the record, I would just like to say this…Your writing has such depth and wisdom. I enjoy reading blogs and devotions that give me good, meaty wisdom from God’s Word. I always feel like I’m learning something new when I read your posts, and that’s a great thing:) I’m a learner, and I want to read something that will bring me deeper into God’s Word or give me something profound to chew on throughout my week. Yours does that. Have a great weekend!